


Open Mind

by weneebebe



Category: K-pop, Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Play, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Canon Compliant, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Foreplay, Hand Jobs, Idols, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Requited Love, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:27:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26315650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weneebebe/pseuds/weneebebe
Summary: Being separated from his hyung hasn’t been easy for Changkyun; so, when Hoseok is finally dragged back to the dorms by a very forceful Minhyuk, Changkyun finally gets to have him all to himself. And this time, he won’t let go.
Relationships: Im Changkyun | I.M/Lee Hoseok | Wonho
Comments: 19
Kudos: 94





	1. Collision

**Author's Note:**

> He held the younger man’s gaze and tried to smile. “Come on, Kyunie,” he stood and pulled him up onto his feet, and embraced him tightly. “We will fix this.”

_**October 31st** _

CK: hyung  
CK: what’s happening   
CK: what’s going on   
CK: please answer me   
CK: everyone’s panicking   
CK: please

HS: I’m so sorry puppy   
HS: it’s that horrid bitch again   
HS: she won’t stop hounding me or Hyunwoo   
HS: this is for the best  
HS: I don’t want her to drag the rest of you down

CK: that's bullshit hyung!  
CK: come home   
CK: please   
CK: we can handle this   
CK: as seven   
CK: please come home

HS: I’m so sorry   
HS: I’ll be at my mother’s  
HS: this is all I can do now   
HS: the things she’s found out   
HS: the lies she’s telling   
HS: it’s too much

CK: can’t I come with you?  
CK: just for a bit   
CK: you didn’t even say goodbye   
CK: hyung  
CK: come home

HS: I’m sorry, baby   
HS: please, forgive me   
HS: it has to be like this   
HS: at least for a little while   
HS: forgive me

CK: I hate this   
CK: but I trust you   
CK: fine   
CK: I’ll help  
CK: let me help   
CK: I want to help

HS: please just trust me, puppy  
HS: stay home for now   
HS: we’ll figure this out

CK: Minhyukie-hyung won’t stop screaming at the managers

HS: is he mad at me?

CK: no  
CK: he’s giving the bosses shit   
CK: for not protecting you better   
CK: Kihyunie-hyung too  
CK: they’re both laying into the bosses   
CK: nobody is upset with you hyung   
CK: I just wish you talked to us before you did this

HS: I’m sorry, puppy   
HS: I didn’t want to cause any trouble

CK: it’s okay, hyung   
CK: I just wish I could see you

HS: soon, Kyunie  
HS: just not right now  
HS: I have to go, puppy   
HS: my mother needs me

CK: can I call you later?  
CK: please

HS: okay, baby  
HS: I love you, Kyunie   
HS: I’m sorry

CK: love you too, hyung  
CK: text me later

Changkyun groaned, tired, and angry. He threw his phone across the room and when it hit the wall, the noise it made was loud enough to summon Hyunwoo into the rapper’s room.

“Kyunie, was that you?” Hyunwoo’s eyes were red from crying, his voice raspy from yelling. He sat down next to Changkyun on his bed and sighed. Changkyun leaned into him and began to cry into his shoulder. “I know, puppy, I know,” Hyunwoo curled a hand through his maknae’s hair. “We’ll figure this out. I promise.”

“I hate this,” Changkyun lamented, tears staining Hyunwoo’s shirt. “How cruel can one person be? To ruin so many lives so quickly? I hate this,” he said again. “I just want him back.”

“I know, baby,” Hyunwoo tried to console the crying rapper. “Come into the living room, okay? We’re going to have a meeting.”

“Without Seokie-hyung? Shouldn’t he be here?” Changkyun wiped his tears gracelessly with the back of his hand. “He should be here.”

Hyunwoo took the hem of his sleeve and gently dabbed at Changkyun’s cheeks. “We’ll get him on the phone, don’t worry. Give him time, puppy. He’s upset that he acted so quickly. He knows he made a mistake leaving like this. He’ll come back.” He held the younger man’s gaze and tried to smile. “Come on, Kyunie,” he stood and pulled him up onto his feet, and embraced him tightly. “We _will_ fix this.”

*

_Hoseok’s lips against Changkyun’s felt so soft, so delicate - Changkyun’s hands traveled from the older man’s hair down his smooth, strong chest, and rested obediently at the elastic of his boxers. “Do you want to play, puppy?” Hoseok’s voice was like velvet in the rapper’s ear, and it made him shiver._

_“Yeah, Seokie-hyung... I want you to play with me,” he kissed him then, and Hoseok slipped his hand under the fabric of Changkyun’s shirt, teasing the pretty contours of his chest and stomach._

_“Look how beautiful you are,” Hoseok kissed down Changkyun’s neck and chest, slipping off the rapper’s shirt over his head. “So handsome, my beautiful boy...” Hoseok’s kisses travelled lower and lower, and he began to palm Changkyun through his boxers, making him cry out in delight._

_Changkyun’s thighs began to quiver in anticipation. “Seokie-hyung, please... please fill me...”_

_Hoseok lovingly pulled Changkyun’s boxers from his cute hips, and took him into his mouth, tongue lolling over the sensitive head. “As you wish, baby,” Hoseok murmured, and Changkyun blushed at the look in the older man’s eyes._

A crash of glass in the kitchen awoke Changkyun abruptly from his sleep - his pillow felt damp; he’d been sweating. “What the fuck was that...?” He muttered to himself. _I’ve never had a dream like that before. He was right here... he was right here with me, and we were... why did that feel so natural?_ He shook his head as if to dislodge the images that flooded his mind. _He felt so good... I don’t have time for this right now. Focus._

Jooheon stirred awake and moved to go see what had happened, but Changkyun waved him off, wordlessly explaining that he would go and check and for the other man to go back to sleep. Jooheon slumped back onto the mattress and resumed snoring. Despite everything, that made Changkyun smile a little.

He made his way out to the kitchen to see what the source of the noise was - half hoping that it was Hoseok, come back in the middle of the night, and everything righted. So when he saw Minhyuk, bent down and picking up pieces of glass, he was just a little disappointed. He stood still, aware suddenly of the danger of his bare feet. “Hyung?” He asked quietly. “What happened?”

Minhyuk snapped to attention, eyes puffy from lack of sleep, and too much crying. “Oh, puppy,” he stood, smoothing his shirt. “I, uh... I dropped the glass...” suddenly, his eyes started welling up again and Changkyun shot to his side, embracing him in a tight hug, not thinking about the glass on the floor. Minhyuk clung to Changkyun, shaking like a leaf. “I’m sorry,” he said weakly. “I’m sorry, baby.”

“Shhh,” Changkyun soothed the older man. “It’s okay, hyung. It’s okay.” He carefully wiped Minhyuk’s cheeks, drying his tears. “Let me help you clean up.” Standing on tip-toe, he kissed the top of Minhyuk’s head. “Did you get hurt?”

Minhyuk shook his head. “No, I...” he looked at his hands. “I’m okay, puppy. Let’s clean up.”

Together, the pair swept up the remaining glass in a silence that was neither comfortable nor uncomfortable; all the while, Changkyun kept replaying his dream in his mind.

_“Look how beautiful you are... So handsome, my beautiful boy...”_ Changkyun’s cheeks grew warm, and he found himself wanting to go back to sleep.


	2. Bruises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hyung, I think... I think I’m in love with Seokie-hyung,” he said, eyes squarely affixed to the grain of the wood floor. “I don’t think I knew what it was... until he was taken away from us. But now I know. And it hurts,” he slowly looked up to face Minhyuk, who was listening intently, and rubbing soothing circles on Changkyun’s thigh. “I dream about him every night, I miss him so much. And now he’s gone, and I can’t tell him how I feel, and that’s all I want to do. All I want to do is to see him and tell him I love him.” 
> 
> Minhyuk sighed. He knew that feeling all too well; he squeezed Changkyun’s hand. “How long have you kept this inside, puppy? Since he left?” 
> 
> “Yeah,” Changkyun explained. “It’s been... it’s been hard.” He sighed again.

_“Seokie-hyung...! You feel so good...” Changkyun gripped Hoseok’s strong thighs as the older man continued to thrust inside him, lips and teeth against his neck, open-mouthed kisses that would almost certainly bruise, sending electric pulses through his body. Changkyun’s chest flushed a pretty pink, the feeling of being filled almost overwhelming; but he wanted more. His hips rolled in time with Hoseok’s movements, guiding the vocalist to push deeper - Hoseok playfully bucked his hips and filled him to the hilt, forcing a cry from Changkyun that pierced the night. Hoseok pressed their foreheads together, beads of sweat clinging to them like on a stubborn summer’s day. “My beautiful boy,” Hoseok purred into his ear. “Wanna come for me, baby?” Changkyun held Hoseok’s face in his hands and kissed him hungrily, curling his legs around him and forcing him to fuck into him deeper, making him moan into Hoseok’s open mouth._

_“Give it to me, Seokie-hyung,” Changkyun cried, “please... please fill me...!” The pair locked eyes then, and Hoseok kept up his pace, taking Changkyun in his hand and stroking. Changkyun writhed with delight underneath him, and it made him smirk._

_“That’s it, baby,” Hoseok cooed, sucking kisses onto his neck. “Come for me... you’re so pretty, you’re all mine...”_

_Changkyun’s thighs began to quiver; he was almost at his limit. “Hyung...! I’m gonna...” he arched his back and spilled into Hoseok’s skillful hand. “Fuck...” he hissed, breathlessly. “Come into me, please... Seokie-hyung...!” He gripped Hoseok’s strong thighs, pressing little crescent moons into the pretty flesh. Hoseok rolled his hips, thrusting tantalizingly slow; it made Changkyun laugh. “Don’t tease me...!” He kissed Hoseok, biting his lower lip. “Give me what I want...”_

_Hoseok bucked his hips and thrust as deeply as he could, making Changkyun stutter and cry out. “You want me to come, baby?” Hoseok asked, kissing along his neck and collarbone. “Tell me you love me, puppy.”_

_Changkyun wrapped his arms around Hoseok’s neck and kissed his cheek and his kiss-swollen lips. “I love you, Hoseokie-hyung...!” He panted. “I love you...”_

Changkyun awoke with a gasp, fringe clinging to his damp forehead. “Fuck...” he cursed under his breath, “again...” he combed his hair from his eyes with shaking fingers, and felt like crying. _You were right here with me... again... why aren’t you next to me now...? I wish you were here..._ then, remembering the end of his dream, his eyes went wide. “Love... you?” He murmured out loud. _Oh my god,_ he thought. _Oh my god, I’m in love with him._

It had been six weeks since Changkyun last saw Hoseok, and the stress and frustration was beginning to show - he wasn’t eating well, and it was beginning to get harder and harder for him to fake it for the cameras; not to mention the constant temptation to reach out to monbebes, who had begun a global campaign to reunite their little family. He had already done so once, leaving a song recommendation on FanCafe whose lyrics told the fans to keep fighting. Jooheon too; he’d changed the lyrics to his rap on live television, winking and telling the fans to be strong; how he’d been scolded for that! But, there was a particular sort of dignity in rebelling against the company that had, at least Changkyun felt, so wronged them. He spent hours glued to his phone, scrolling through twitter on his secret account - the others didn’t even know he had one - just to keep up with the daily protest hashtags that the fans had been pushing for almost a month, now. He was proud; but at the same time, his heart ached.

And now, he sat on the edge of his bed, damp with sweat and missing his hyung. He glanced over at the time and saw that it was morning; he wouldn’t have otherwise known - the curtains had been drawn for weeks. Waking up properly, he heard stirring in the kitchen and living room; he decided it was time to get up. Shaking the images from his dream away - that was futile, the dreams would always come back - he stood, picked up a nearby shirt and slipped it on quickly, and sighed.

The others, it seemed, had been awake for a while; the apartment was full of life. Changkyun leaned against the door frame to their bedroom and sighed, unwilling to start another day. Hyungwon clocked him first, and set down his coffee to come and bring him into the living room with a gentle hand. “Morning, puppy,” Hyungwon cooed, ruffling Changkyun’s hair as they sat on the couch together. “How did you sleep?”

Changkyun remembered how warm Hoseok’s skin had felt against his, how real; how soft. “I slept... well,” he lied, curling into Hyungwon’s slim body. “What about you, hyung?”

“Like a rock,” Hyungwon admitted. “But that’s normal for me.” He remarked how dark the bags had grown under his maknae’s eyes. “Do you want to do a face mask with me, puppy? I got some nice aloe ones from a fan,” he suggested gently, knowing how hard he’d been working, under the circumstances.

Changkyun knew Hyungwon was just trying to get him to smile, so he indulged him with a little one. “Okay, hyung,” he grinned weakly. “After breakfast?”

“Sure baby, after breakfast. Come and eat something, okay?”

“Okay.”

*

Minhyuk eyed Changkyun from across the table, observing for the Nth night in a row how he pushed the food around instead of eating - like Hyunwoo, Changkyun had grown thin with stress, and it broke his heart. Suddenly, he set down his chopsticks and stood up, surprising the others. “Puppy, come with me,” he held out his hand across the table, beckoning the maknae rise. Changkyun obeyed, took Minhyuk’s hand, and allowed himself to be led to their shared bedroom. The remaining boys shared a look of quiet understanding and went back to eating dinner. They were tired too, after all.

Once alone, Minhyuk closed the door gently. “Sit, baby,” Minhyuk said softly, crossing his legs on the floor. Changkyun sat across from him, close enough that their knees touched. “Why aren’t you eating, Kyunie?” Minhyuk took Changkyun’s chin in his hand and coaxed the rapper’s eyes up to meet his. “I know it’s hard.”

Changkyun sighed, the weight of the world on his tongue. “I miss him,” he said finally. “We talk on the phone, but it isn’t the same. He should be here. He should be here for all of these awards and the tours and the fans...” he raked his fingers through his hair. “Christ, the fans... they miss him so much. Did you see the fucking billboard in Times Square for him? All over the world, hyung... and the bosses aren’t doing anything! Why are our poor fans working harder and crying harder than our own _fucking_ company?!” He slammed his fist against the floor, angry - Minhyuk never saw Changkyun outwardly upset like this; he usually kept it inside. But the time for bottled emotions had long-since passed; so, he let his maknae be angry. He pulled him into a tight hug, their bodies curled into each other on the floor.

“I know, baby,” Minhyuk soothed. “Kihyunnie and I are working on a plan,” he smoothed Changkyun’s fringe from his eyes. “Do you trust me, puppy?” He asked, holding the younger man’s face in his hands.

Changkyun nodded, eyes tired and glassy. “I do,” he mumbled, “I’m sorry for yelling.”

“It’s okay, baby. I’ve done my fair share of yelling over the last few weeks,” Minhyuk pinched Changkyun’s cheek. “We all miss him.”

“You have no idea...” Changkyun replied, sighing heavily.

Minhyuk picked up on something in the rapper’s voice. “Is there something else, puppy?” He asked, curious.

Changkyun wasn’t sure if he should push it; but he felt the can of worms opening now, and he didn’t see the use in trying to keep the lid on. “Hyung, I think... I think I’m in love with Seokie-hyung,” he said, eyes squarely affixed to the grain of the wood floor. “I don’t think I knew what it was... until he was taken away from us. But now I know. And it hurts,” he slowly looked up to face Minhyuk, who was listening intently, and rubbing soothing circles on Changkyun’s thigh. “I dream about him every night, I miss him so much. And now he’s gone, and I can’t tell him how I feel, and that’s all I want to do. All I want to do is to see him and tell him I love him.”

Minhyuk sighed. He knew that feeling all too well; he squeezed Changkyun’s hand. “How long have you kept this inside, puppy? Since he left?”

“Yeah,” Changkyun explained. “It’s been... it’s been hard.” He sighed again. “Was it this difficult when you first fell in love with Honey?” He asked, childlike curiosity in his voice, hoping for advice.

Minhyuk leaned back onto the edge of the bed behind him. “That was different,” he closed his eyes, remembering. “We were trainees, then. Didn’t even know if we would debut together... I loved him so much, practically at first sight,” he recalled, a faint smile on his lips despite everything. “I was never as quiet or as close-to-the-vest as you, baby. He saw through me right away,” Minhyuk pulled Changkyun over to sit next to him, and wrapped an arm around his shoulders to draw him close. “One night, I couldn’t take it any more and I just...” he laughed softly. “I just confessed, blushing, hiding half my face in a pillow.”

“And did he accept it right away?” Changkyun asked, like a child waiting for the end of a story.

Minhyuk smiled at the memory. “He did, actually,” he replied, voice gentle. “He kissed me, and told me that he was _so_ glad I’d said something first.”

“And now look at you.”

“And now look at us.” Minhyuk echoed sweetly. He ruffled Changkyun’s hair. “Do you want to tell Hoseokie-hyung how you feel?” He combed through the soft strands, long fingers soothing the young man in his arms.

“I don’t know, hyung,” Changkyun replied honestly. “Everything is such a _fucking_ mess right now...” he held his face in his hands, defeated. “I just want him back.”

Minhyuk thought for a moment. “If...” he thought out loud. “If I could bring him back here, without anyone else knowing,” he tilted Changkyun’s chin up so their eyes met, “would that be enough for you to tell him how you feel, baby?”

Changkyun’s eyes betrayed their desire, their longing, just for a moment; it made Minhyuk’s heart ache. “Do you think he would come back, hyung? Just once?” _I need to see him,_ Changkyun thought. _And not just in my dreams..._

“I’ll make sure of it,” Minhyuk pulled him into a tight hug again. “It’s a matter of love, after all.”

*

MH: Hoseokie, answer your phone right now  
MH: we need to talk

HS: sorry Minnie  
HS: I just got out of the shower   
HS: I’m seeing the lawyers later

MH: good   
MH: call me right now   
MH: idc if you’re naked, just do it

Hoseok hesitated over the call button, but knew that Minhyuk was not one to be kept waiting; he took a deep breath, and hit “call.”

“Lee Hoseok, you’re coming back to the apartment tonight.” Minhyuk’s voice was stern, unyielding.

“Hello to you too, Minnie,” Hoseok replied, trying to dress with one free hand.

“It’s _enough,_ bunny. Come back. Kihyunnie is going to send a car for you around 9ish. Deal?”

“Wait, what—”

“The baby misses you, Hoseok. You’re coming home. This... this _separation thing_ we’re doing? It’s bullshit. It’s _done.”_

 _The baby misses you,_ Minhyuk’s words cut him like a knife. Something in him snapped, then, and his eyes welled up with tears. “How is Kyunie?” He asked, wiping his eyes.

“He’s miserable. I’m not going to lie to you, bunny,” Minhyuk’s voice was tired. Protective. Hoseok loved that about him - but now it all just felt like an accusation; and he deserved it.

“I try to talk to him every day,” Hoseok offered weakly.

“Video chatting isn’t the same as a hug,” Minhyuk sighed. “He hasn’t been eating. I’ve been so preoccupied with taking care of Honey and his own stress that I’ve only just caught on to how bad puppy’s been handling things. I’ve been a shit big brother. So now I’m fixing that, and I will _drag you back here_ by your pretty ears if I have to.”

Hoseok went quiet for a moment. “He’s not eating?” He asked, biting his lip. “Why isn’t he eating?”

“Well, have _you_ been eating?” Minhyuk shot back. “Have _you_ been living normally, smiling, with a regular appetite, this whole time?”

“No, but—”

 _“None_ of us have, Hoseok!” Minhyuk let his temper get the better of him. “Sorry, bunny, he added quietly. “You just... you just need to come home. _Tonight._ He needs you so much.” He thought for a moment. “We all miss you so much.”

Hoseok began to cry in earnest. “I’m sorry, Minhyuk,” he said at last. “I’ll come home.”

“Good,” Minhyuk knew he’d won. “And good luck with the lawyers, bunny. Knock that bitch out of the water. We’re all rooting for you.”

“Thanks, Minnie.” He wiped his eyes. “Love you.”

“Love you more.”


	3. Bandages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyunwoo wiped the tears from Hoseok’s cheeks. “No more sorrys, Seok. You’re home now. We’ll make everything right.” He smiled, and held Hoseok’s cheek in his hand. “Love you, bunny.” 
> 
> Hoseok smiled a little at that. “Love you too, hyung.” 
> 
> “Now get some sleep,” he motioned to Hoseok’s room with his chin. “I know you’ve had a long day.”

Hoseok took a deep breath and hesitated just before they got to the front door of the apartment. “What’s wrong, hyung?” Minhyuk asked him, touching his arm. “Nobody saw us come in, it’s okay.”

The vocalist sighed. “It’s not that,” he shook his head. “I’m just... I’m scared.” He couldn’t bring himself to look away from the floor. “I’m scared that I’ve ruined everything between all of us.”

Minhyuk’s heart broke to hear the older man speak like that. He pulled him into a tight hug, rubbing soothing circles on his back. “We’ve all missed you so much, hyung,” he explained. “We’ll tell everyone the plan once we’ve all had something to eat,” he looked into Hoseok’s eyes. “Okay?”

“Okay.”

And with that, Minhyuk opened the door. “I’m home,” he said softly into the quiet apartment. “I brought a present.”

*

The remains of dinner - take-out boxes cleaned to the last crumb and morsel, empty bottles of beer and soda - lay forgotten on the kitchen table; music played softly from a corner of the apartment. The seven men had migrated now to the living room, and had begun to talk strategy. Of course, Hoseok had been welcomed back with open arms; teary eyes, yes, but open arms nonetheless - and he was relieved. Changkyun had not left his side the entire evening, choosing instead to curl their arms together, his body like a bike lock, head constantly resting against the older man’s shoulder, protectively. Hoseok held Changkyun’s hand in his the whole time, refusing to let him go. As they all sat together, discussing their next moves, he allowed himself the intimate pleasure of combing through Changkyun’s hair, absent-mindlessly pressing kisses to the top of his head. 

“So that’s the deal, then?” Hyunwoo clarified, rubbing his eyes - it was getting late. “And you’re happy with it, right?”

Hoseok sighed. “The boss is being stubborn and won’t let me rescind my resignation from Starship even though it was done so rashly,” he rested a hand on Changkyun’s thigh, strong fingers rubbing soothing circles. “But, they’ll sign me to Highline. It’s just a different floor. I can still live here with you. And after a while, after I do the solo thing for a bit, they’ll reconsider putting me back in the group.”

“On what conditions?” Kihyun’s eyes narrowed - he was never one to trust the word of the bosses, not anymore.

Hoseok ran a hand through his hair. “The debut has to be a success, obviously. People have to forget the drama. People have to keep wanting us to be seven again.”

Changkyun smirked. “That won’t be a problem,” he said, speaking up for the first time in a while. “That’s all monbebe has wanted for weeks. Have you seen what they’ve done?” He looked at Hoseok, eyes tired, but sparkling with delight that he was sitting next to him.

“I have,” he admitted. “I read my Naver messages every day, and I saw the billboards... I hate that I’ve hurt them so much.” He averted his eyes, looking only at his socked feet under crossed legs.

Minhyuk slid next to the older man and bumped his shoulder. “Monbebe are strong,” he reminded him. “They won’t give up. I just wish we could tell them that we have a plan now, that you’ll be back soon. It's not fair to keep them in the dark.” He sighed. “This _fucking_ company.”

That earned a chorus of tired agreement. Hyunwoo noted the time on the microwave clock and stretched his arms above his head. “We can figure more of this out in the morning,” he said, voice Solomon-like in its finality. “Time for bed,” he stood, extending a hand to Hoseok, who took it and stood with him. “Welcome home, Seok,” he smiled, and pulled him into a tight hug. “Welcome home.”

Hoseok’s eyes filled with tears. “Thank you,” he said softly. “I’m so sorry.”

Hyunwoo wiped the tears from Hoseok’s cheeks. “No more sorrys, Seok. You’re home now. We’ll make everything right.” He smiled, and held Hoseok’s cheek in his hand. “Love you, bunny.”

Hoseok smiled a little at that. “Love you too, hyung.”

“Now get some sleep,” he motioned to Hoseok’s room with his chin. “I know you’ve had a long day.”

The pair shared an understanding smile, and with one last hug, Hyunwoo sent Hoseok off to his room. Once alone, Hoseok shut the door and sighed, almost collapsing onto the bed. He hadn’t been back in his room since everything had kicked off; his headphones were still in a knot on the bedside table, and clean clothes were still piled on the floor; his lyric notebook and pens still on the bed. The sight of all these things, untouched, brought tears to his eyes, and he was too tired to keep them at bay. Head in his hands, elbows pressed to his thighs, Hoseok began to cry. The weight of everything that had happened in the last few weeks was enough to break his back; but here he was, in his own bed again. The familiar smell of his bedroom was almost too much for him to bear; the tears kept coming. The sobs rocked his body, and he grabbed for his pillow to muffle his cries. He was so happy to be home; but right now, everything hurt.

Suddenly—

“Hyung?” A voice on the other end of his bedroom door.

Changkyun.

He immediately stopped crying and quickly wiped his tears, patting his cheeks to try and calm himself down as he moved to get the door. “Kyunie,” he said softly, “hey...” he was pleasantly surprised when the maknae fell into his arms, grasping at Hoseok’s shirt. “Puppy... are you okay?” He asked, bringing his hands up to comb through Changkyun’s hair.

“I am now,” Changkyun admitted, sighing into Hoseok’s neck. “Can I... can I stay with you tonight?” The rapper’s eyes were round and sparkling, full of hope and want.

Hoseok’s heart ached. “Of course, baby,” he said, hugging him close, breathing in the scent of the younger man’s floral shampoo. “I’ve missed you so much.”

Changkyun sighed into Hoseok’s neck. “I’ve missed you more,” he countered. “I’ve missed you so much.”

Hoseok knew how true that was - he could feel how thin the young man had grown. He led Changkyun to his bed, and they sat together for a while, just holding each other. Changkyun’s heart began to race; every cell in his body screamed at him to tell him how he felt - but all he could muster was a gentle kiss to Hoseok’s neck, and he rested his chin on his shoulder. “I dreamed about you, hyung,” he said, slowly.

“You did?” Hoseok blushed a little at that. “What kind of dreams?” He asked, hugging Changkyun close.

Changkyun didn’t want to give the game away, not yet. “Good ones,” he said, almost coyly. “Not nightmares, at any rate.” He considered his next words carefully. “Hyung, while you were gone, I... I realized something,” he said, turning Hoseok’s hand in his, eyes downcast. “But before I tell you, I need you to promise me something.”

“Anything, puppy,” Hoseok replied quickly, willing to promise him the world. “What is it?”

Changkyun took a deep breath. “Promise me that no matter what happens now, even if you don’t like what I’m going to tell you... promise me that you won’t leave my side ever again.”

Hoseok’s heart broke to hear how sincere Changkyun was. He took Changkyun’s chin in his hand and held his gaze. “I promise. No matter what. I will never, ever leave again,” he tried to smile a little, and coax a small grin from the rapper - it worked, and he was glad. “What do you want to tell me?”

Their faces were close; Changkyun took a deep breath. “This,” he said softly, closing the space between them with a tentative kiss - Hoseok’s lips were so soft against his, so warm and sweet; he rested a hand on the older man’s thigh, the other behind his neck. Hoseok was surprised, but quickly melted into the kiss, not wanting to pull away; he took Changkyun’s face in both hands, and pressed his tongue at the seam of the rapper’s lips, waiting to deepen it - Changkyun let him, sighing into Hoseok’s mouth.

Hoseok’s heart felt like it might leap from his chest; this was not at all what he expected from his return home, but now, holding his maknae in his arms, lips against lips, tears threatening to fall - it all fit into place, now. He pulled away slightly for the briefest moment, pressing their foreheads together. “Kyunie...” he breathed, stroking his cheeks. “Kyunie, what...”

“I’m in love with you, hyung,” Changkyun admitted finally. “I’m _so_ in love with you, and I missed you _so_ much...” he curled into Hoseok’s frame, wanting desperately to be held. Hoseok obliged, wrapping his arms around the rapper. He smiled into Changkyun’s hair, heart racing.

“Oh, Kyunie,” Hoseok cooed, curling fingers through his hair. “I’m so sorry I was gone for so long...” he took Changkyun’s face in his hands again and kissed his forehead. “I missed you so much.”

Changkyun’s eyes were glassy with unfallen tears. “I don’t... I don’t know what to do now, hyung,” he said, voice shaky. “I don’t know what to do with these feelings, now...”

Hoseok smiled softly. “What do you mean, baby?” He asked, smoothing Changkyun’s fringe from his eyes.

“I’ve ruined everything between us now, haven’t I...” he sniffled, unable to stop his tears. He looked up at Hoseok with such a look of despair in his eyes, the older man could not help what he did next.

Hoseok pulled him into another kiss, deeper, more sure; deliberate, and careful. “Changkyunnie,” he murmured against the other man’s lips, “I love you _so much,”_ he admitted. “You haven’t ruined anything, baby...” he looked into Changkyun’s eyes, his own tears threatening to fall. “While I was gone, all I could think about was how I left, without telling you... Kyunie, you are my most precious person,” he held the rapper’s hands in his, on his lap. “And I... I hate that it took this nightmare for me to realize it.”

Changkyun fell into Hoseok’s arms again. “Do you mean that, hyung?” He asked, muffled by the older man’s shirt. “I don’t ever want to leave your side, not anymore...” he began to cry, and Hoseok held him close, rubbing soothing circles on his back.

“Then don’t,” Hoseok cooed sweetly, kissing the top of Changkyun’s head as his breathing calmed down. “Don’t leave me, Kyunie,” he kissed his forehead and wiped his tears away. “Stay with me.” Hoseok kissed him again, and Changkyun stopped crying. The rapper’s hands curled through Hoseok’s hair, pulling their faces closer; he gingerly straddled the older man’s lap, their bodies pressed together - after so long separated, Changkyun wanted to be as close to his hyung as he could manage. They stayed like that, kissing slowly, gentle hands tracing lines along each other’s skin, making up for lost time. 

“You’re sleeping here, right?” Hoseok asked after a little while, careful fingers exploring underneath the fabric of Changkyun’s shirt. The rapper nodded, and stood to shut the overhead light; Hoseok slipped into bed and adjusted the covers, making room for Changkyun. “Come here,” he whispered in the dark, arms open; Changkyun slipped off his shirt and jeans, and joined him in bed, instantly curling into Hoseok’s embrace.

“You smell _so good,”_ Changkyun sighed happily. “I’ve missed this perfume on you,” he kissed Hoseok’s neck and collarbone. “Seokie-hyung...” he pressed slow kisses all along the older man’s jawline, eliciting soft sighs from him - Hoseok curled his fingers through Changkyun’s hair, almost holding his head in place to keep kissing; Changkyun obeyed, unwilling to stop. Hoseok’s hand moved slowly up Changkyun’s chest, and it was all he could do to keep from bursting into tears to feel how thin he’d grown - he tried not to think about that, not now. He rolled on top of Changkyun, angling his thigh between his legs and he began to kiss him slowly, a tentative hand teasing the sensitive skin of his hips.

“My beautiful boy,” Hoseok murmured, kissing along Changkyun’s chest. “Please, forgive me...”

 _My beautiful boy..._ the words from Changkyun’s constant dreams echoed in his mind, and he began to blush. _It’s just like before,_ he thought. _But he’s here now... this is real. I’m so happy..._ “There’s nothing to forgive, hyung,” Changkyun sighed, cupping Hoseok’s cheek in his hand. “Please, just...” he let Hoseok kiss his hand. “Please just stay.”

“I won’t ever leave you again, baby,” Hoseok promised, lifting Changkyun’s chin with a gentle hand and kissing down his neck, open-mouthed kisses traveling lower until his mouth rested against his hip. Hoseok’s eyes flicked back up towards Changkyun, who nodded his permission - Hoseok kissed carefully along the skin just above the elastic of his boxers, making Changkyun shiver in delight. He slowly slipped Changkyun’s boxers lower on his hips, kissing along his Adonis belt and reveling in the little sounds of desire spilling from the rapper’s parted lips. One hand gently splayed across Changkyun’s abdomen, the other holding fast to his hip, he took him into his mouth, relaxing his throat.

Changkyun’s back arched at the sudden warm feeling of Hoseok’s mouth around him, hissing sharply. “Hyung...!” He choked out, warmth spreading throughout his body. Hoseok’s mouth on him felt so good, his mind kept flashing back to the dreams he’d had for weeks - that this was happening now, for real, was enough to make him want to cry. “Hyung, you... you feel so _good...”_ he babbled, grabbing at the sheets beneath him.

Hoseok pulled off of him with a last lolling swipe of his tongue and moved back up to kiss him, still stroking. “Do you want more, baby?” He asked, breathless. “Tell me what you need...”

Changkyun held Hoseok’s face in his hands and kissed him deeply, knowing exactly what he wanted. _“Please,_ hyung,” his voice a pretty whisper, _“please_ fuck me...” he wrapped his arms around the older man’s neck, embracing him and feeling his heat pressed against his thigh. “I _need you_ inside me, I want to feel you...” he nipped at Hoseok’s neck, and it sent a shiver down the vocalist’s spine. He’d never heard Changkyun speak so bluntly to him before; but then again, a lot of things were different now - and he would be lying if he said he didn’t like this side of him.

“Want me inside you, puppy...?” Hoseok parroted, voice made low with want. “My beautiful boy...” he kissed along Changkyun’s thighs, parting them lovingly and pressing kisses to the delicate flesh, making him quiver. He continued stroking him, and reached across the bed to his side-table, feeling for the familiar bottle of lubricant - after all, everything was where he’d left it - and found it quickly, flipping the cap and squeezing a little of the thick liquid onto his hands, warming it through before teasing Changkyun’s entrance. Changkyun whimpered at the new feeling, but quickly relaxed under his hyung’s touch - he had, he remembered, felt this in his dreams many times; he smiled at that. He groaned in delight as Hoseok pressed first one, then a second finger inside slowly, moving rhythmically, working him open. He began to squirm happily, chest flushed, heartbeat quickening. Hoseok took notice; he slowed his strokes, and kissed inside Changkyun’s thighs. “Don’t come yet, baby,” he teased gently. “I want to make up for lost time.”

Hoseok’s sure voice sent shivers through Changkyun’s whole body. _Make up for lost time..._ “hyung, please, don’t tease me anymore, I need you...” he rolled his hips against Hoseok’s fingers, begging for more - Hoseok could not stand to make Changkyun wait any longer; he was painfully hard, and he wanted nothing more than to give his maknae what he needed. He slipped his fingers from the rapper, and Changkyun whimpered at the sudden empty feeling.

Pulling his own boxers off, he took himself in his hand and knelt in front of the other man, positioning himself and carefully spreading Changkyun’s thighs further. “Ready, baby?” He whispered, holding his hip, steadying him.

Changkyun nodded, reaching out to grasp Hoseok’s thigh. Hoseok pressed against Changkyun’s entrance; slowly, slowly pushing inside, waiting for the rapper to adjust to the new feeling of being filled like this - to his surprise, Changkyun relaxed around his girth quickly, taking him easily. Filling him to the hilt, Hoseok paused, hovering above him, smoothing his fringe from his eyes, and kissed his forehead. “Kyunie...” he murmured. “Is this okay...?” He asked, kissing his forehead, hesitant to push further.

“You can move, hyung,” Changkyun confirmed, breathing in deeply, acclimating himself to the feeling now that he was awake to enjoy the real thing - he wrapped his arms around Hoseok’s neck, kissing him slowly. “You feel _so good,”_ he murmured against his lips, “you feel so good inside me.”

Hearing Changkyun speak like that made Hoseok melt; he began to move slowly, hips rolling into the rapper at a steady, easy pace, building up a rhythm. Changkyun’s pretty moans made Hoseok grow harder inside him, and he didn’t want to hold back; he moved faster, thrusting deeper each time and wringing such beautiful, happy noises from his maknae’s kiss-swollen lips. “Baby... baby, you’re so good...” Hoseok groaned, kissing Changkyun’s cheeks and neck, “so pretty, you’re _so pretty...”_

Changkyun shivered at the praise, the heady mix of Hoseok’s perfume and their sweat making him feel drunk with desire. He curled his legs around Hoseok’s hips, guiding the older man to fuck into him deeper, and both cried out in unison at the feeling. Changkyun pressed his nails into Hoseok’s strong back, sucking and biting at his neck. He knew it would bruise, but he didn’t care; Hoseok was _his -_ and he would never let him go. Pressing their foreheads together, Hoseok locked eyes with his maknae, wanting to see the pleasure on his face. _You look so beautiful like this,_ he thought. _So beautiful..._ “Kyunie, I’m going to... can I please, baby...?” He asked, kissing him slowly.

Changkyun grunted, moving his hands down to Hoseok’s hips, forcing him deeper. “Come into me, hyung... _please...!”_ He cried, desperate to be filled.

“Tell me you love me, baby,” Hoseok cooed into Changkyun’s ear. “I’ve missed you... my beautiful boy...” he measured his thrusts now, each roll of his hips making Changkyun stutter forward on his pillow and whine in delight.

Changkyun felt warm all through his body, and he took Hoseok’s cheek in one hand, kissing him slowly, moaning into his mouth. “I love you... my Seokie-hyung, I love you...!” Hearing those words spilling so beautifully from Changkyun’s lips was enough to send Hoseok over the edge at last - he came hard and fast, bucking his hips and eliciting a pretty cry from Changkyun; the feeling of being filled with heat ignited Changkyun’s orgasm, and he came, clawing little crescent moons into Hoseok’s back and thighs. Hoseok rolled his hips into his maknae until he was entirely spent, their panting together now the only sounds in the night.

Hoseok carefully rolled off of Changkyun, attacking his face and neck and chest with a flurry of kisses and making Changkyun laugh, out of breath as he was. He lovingly swiped Hoseok’s floppy fringe from his eyes and kissed his nose. “I’m so glad you’re back,” he said, smiling from the very middle of himself. “I’m so glad you’re mine.”

“My Kyunie,” Hoseok cooed sweetly, kissing him back, “I’m never going to leave your side again. I promise.” The older man gathered Changkyun in his arms, embracing him tightly - they lay together like that, in the still of the night, until they fell asleep at last.

*

When morning came, there was a fresh sort of lightness in the air of the apartment; having Hoseok back - knowing that while things were not yet perfect, but they were on their way - it made a difference. One by one, the men slowly woke up and made their way to the kitchen, like coffee-seeking missiles. It was Minhyuk who noted that they were two members short; Changkyun and Hoseok had not emerged from the older man’s room yet. He smiled knowingly into his coffee.

 _I’m so glad,_ he thought.


	4. Convalescence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I can’t wait for you to come back, hyung,” he said at last, voice almost childlike.
> 
> Hoseok was confused. “I’m right here, baby,” he said, taking the younger man’s chin in his hand and kissing him. “I’m right here.”
> 
> “You know what I mean,” he cocked his head, lacing their fingers together. “I can’t wait to stand next to you on stage again.”
> 
> Hoseok’s heart ached to hear that. “Soon, puppy,” he explained. “Remember the plan,” he kissed him sweetly. “Just a little longer, and we can all be together again, publicly.” 
> 
> Changkyun pouted, but he knew Hoseok was right. “Okay,” he agreed. “I trust you.”
> 
> “Until then, though,” Hoseok smiled, gingerly rolling Changkyun onto his stomach so he could kiss along the outlines of the tattoo on his back, “will you settle for being with me like this, alone?”

The living room was buzzing with excitement; all the boys had their laptops and phones out, fingers poised and ready - “let’s have a streaming party!” Jooheon had suggested playfully, kissing Hoseok’s cheek. “We’re all so proud of you, hyung,” he’d said; everyone was in agreement, of course. It had been a rough eight months, and they were all thrilled to bursting with pride for their brother.

Hyungwon had set a countdown timer to add to the excitement; he slid next to Hoseok on the expansive couch and rested his chin on the older man’s shoulder. “Don’t be nervous, bunny,” he said softly. “Everyone is going to love this song.”

*

That night, Hoseok slept like a baby - of course, Changkyun was in his usual place, curled into his embrace; he had all but moved into the older man’s room now, choosing to spend most of his nights with him. This suited Minhyuk and Jooheon down to the ground, playfully teasing him that at least now they’d have more room for themselves, and more privacy.

Though Hoseok seemed to be sleeping like the dead, Changkyun was having a hard time staying asleep; which was unusual for him now that Hoseok had come home. He held the sleeping man’s cheek in his hand, gently stroking the soft skin with his thumb. “Even like this, you’re so pretty,” he whispered to himself. “Thank you for coming home to me.” He kissed his forehead as carefully as he could to avoid waking the deeply sleeping vocalist, but was caught off guard when Hoseok’s arms snaked around him tighter and he tilted his head up, pouting his lips for a proper kiss.

“Kyunie,” Hoseok murmured, sleep making his tongue heavy. “Kiss me,” he gingerly pulled Changkyun on top of him, and the rapper straddled his hips properly, bending his head to obey him and kiss him. Hoseok’s hands on the smooth skin of his back were warm, familiar now; Changkyun melted into the older man’s embrace and sighed contentedly. “What is it, puppy?” Hoseok asked, combing the bedhead from Changkyun’s eyes.

Changkyun shook his head. “It’s nothing, hyung,” he explained. “Can’t sleep,” he kissed his neck sweetly. “I’m too wired.”

Hoseok grinned, running a strong hand up Changkyun’s thigh. “Wired, huh?” He tugged a little on the fabric of Changkyun’s sleep shorts. “Maybe I can help tire you out.”

“Yeah?” Changkyun smiled against Hoseok’s neck, pretty teeth grazing the soft skin. “I want to play with you, hyung,” he purred. “Let me make you feel good...” he slipped a hand under the fabric of Hoseok’s baggy sleep shirt, kissing down his defined chest and stomach, venerating the pretty curves of each muscle. “Hyung,” Changkyun marveled, kissing lower, “you look so good,” he kissed along his defined Adonis belt, delighting in the little hisses of satisfaction passing through Hoseok’s bared teeth. He pressed slow, open-mouthed kisses along his hips and stomach, knowing that only he would see the marks he left there; Hoseok instinctively rolled his hips at the feeling of the rapper’s teeth against his skin. He curled his fingers through Changkyun’s hair, pulling slightly; Changkyun’s eyes flicked back up to Hoseok’s face, and it made his heart jump to see how his eyes were full of want.

Changkyun palmed Hoseok through his boxers, forcing a sharp cry from the older man. _“Shit,_ Kyunie... you _tease,”_ he laughed, breathlessly. “Come on baby...” he tugged on Changkyun’s hair, sending an electric jolt through his body. Tonight, he didn’t feel much like teasing, anyway - he dipped his hand beneath the elastic of his boxers and took his length in his mouth, devouring him in one. Hoseok sighed in relief at Changkyun’s warm tongue enveloping his heat, rolling his hips, and clutching at the sheets. Changkyun couldn’t help the satisfied laughter that came from deep within him to see how easily Hoseok could melt under his touch; he held fast to the older man’s hip, anchoring himself to the vocalist as he bobbed his head, lolling his tongue over the sensitive tip.

Hoseok shivered with everyone flick of his maknae’s tongue, growing playfully impatient. “Puppy... don’t let me come like this...” he pulled Changkyun up to kiss him, their bodies rushing together, hips rocking against each other. “I want to be inside you _so bad,_ baby...” Hoseok snaked a hand down to Changkyun’s boxers, feeling how hard his maknae had grown. “You want it too, huh,” he groaned against the younger man’s neck, pulling off his boxers with one hand. “Come here,” pressing his fingers against Changkyun’s mouth, the younger man took them and sucked greedily, tongue dripping saliva. He coaxed Changkyun on top of him properly, spreading his thighs and fucking into him with wet fingers, working him open. Leaning back on his hands, pressed into Hoseok’s thighs, Changkyun moaned in ecstasy - Hoseok’s fingers were so strong, he knew exactly how far to go without pushing him over the edge; it made his whole body burn. It was not long before he was ready to take him, desperate to be filled by more than just his hyung’s fingers. Slipping his fingers from the rapper, Hoseok took himself in his hand, stroking slowly and guiding Changkyun’s hip to ease himself down onto his cock.

Both men groaning in unison at the connection, Changkyun threw his head back against his shoulders and rocked his hips, hands anchored to Hoseok’s strong thighs. “Hyung, you’re so...” he painted, reveling in the feeling of being filled so completely. “You feel _so good...”_ in the last months, he had grown so needy of exactly this - this most intimate of connections with the one he loved most; and now that Hoseok was back, and the ship was beginning to right itself, Changkyun always chose to indulge.

Hoseok’s strong hands gripped Changkyun’s thighs, watching the younger man rock his hips and writhe on top of him - a sight he never tired of, and a feeling he, too, had come to crave. He remarked then how well Changkyun had finally begun to look, his frame having filled out in the last months. “Look at you,” he cooed, eyes heavy-lidded with lust. “Look how _beautiful_ you are...” he reached for Changkyun’s cheek and pulled the rapper down to meet him in a kiss. Hoseok kissed like he sang, and Changkyun’s heart ached with love for him every time their lips met. “Come with me, baby,” he moaned into Changkyun’s open mouth, taking the younger man’s length in his hand and stroking in time with his thrusts.

Changkyun’s chest flushed pink at Hoseok’s skillful touch, wanting desperately for him to burst inside of him. “Hyung...” he panted, voice quivering with anticipation, the familiar heat coiling in his middle - _“hyung, please...”_ he begged, teeth against Hoseok’s shoulder, threatening to bite.

“Mark me, Kyunie,” Hoseok purred. “Leave a mark...” he curled a hand around the back of Changkyun’s neck, guiding his mouth, pressing against his soft skin. “Please, puppy,” he moaned prettily. _“Make me yours...”_

Changkyun was only too happy to obey, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to the warm flesh of Hoseok’s shoulder; when his kiss bore teeth, it sent a bolt of electricity through Hoseok’s body and he knew he was close. “Baby, I’m gonna...!” Was all he could choke out as he came into Changkyun, warm and fast. Changkyun’s back arched instinctively, shivers coursing through him as he continued rocking his hips until Hoseok was entirely spent.

Hoseok’s hands on him set his skin alight, and he knew he was at his limit. With a last, breathless cry, he came into Hoseok’s strong hand, letting him stroke him through his orgasm as he collapsed onto the older man’s chest. Pressing feverish kisses all over his face, Changkyun wrapped his arms around Hoseok’s neck and carefully rolled off of him, lying next to him in bed. “Seokie-hyung,” he murmured, panting, and smiling like a teenager, “I love you so much.” Hoseok lovingly combed the hair from Changkyun’s eyes, kissing his forehead and tasting the salt of his sweat on his tongue. He smiled against his skin.

“I love you more,” he countered, reaching for the glass of water at his bedside and offering it to Changkyun first, who pouted his lips - Hoseok held the glass while his maknae drank from it, his adam’s apple bobbing prettily. Hoseok couldn’t help but fall even more in love with him when Changkyun wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, offering the glass back to him. “You’re so _cute,”_ Hoseok cooed, kissing his cheek. “My sweet boy.”

Changkyun blushed at the praise, curling into Hoseok’s body. Sighing contentedly, he traced delicate, invisible lines across Hoseok’s bare chest. “I can’t wait for you to come back, hyung,” he said at last, voice almost childlike.

Hoseok was confused. “I’m right here, baby,” he said, taking the younger man’s chin in his hand and kissing him. “I’m right here.”

“You know what I mean,” he cocked his head, lacing their fingers together. “I can’t wait to stand next to you on stage again.”

Hoseok’s heart ached to hear that. “Soon, puppy,” he explained. “Remember the plan,” he kissed him sweetly. “Just a little longer, and we can all be together again, publicly.”

Changkyun pouted, but he knew Hoseok was right. “Okay,” he agreed. “I trust you.”

“Until then, though,” Hoseok smiled, gingerly rolling Changkyun onto his stomach so he could kiss along the outlines of the tattoo on his back, “will you settle for being with me like this, alone?” He kissed down the rapper’s spine, leaving a trail of faint bruises as he went.

Changkyun sighed, satiated, and relaxed under the older man’s touch. “Hmm,” he played along, “I might need to be convinced,” he smiled, playfully flopping onto his back, toppling Hoseok over next to him and covering him with kisses.

Hoseok smirked, taking Changkyun’s chin in his hand and kissing him slowly. “Let me see what I can do about that, then,” he cooed sweetly.

Beyond their bedroom window, the full moon rested placidly in the sky, pregnant with the promise of a happy future.


End file.
